Pictures of France

I've ended the Marjorie blog (Google "Hank's best year ever" if you're interested in my latest rantings), but if you've come here looking for trip pictures as my sister Carol did the other day, please pop me an e-mail. I'm sending out links to albums I've created after sorting through everybody's best photographic efforts. I'm sending out an album a day to keep it from being overwhelming.

Home at Last

Well it took over a year for me to learn how to blog on this site. Has everyone recovered? I have hit the ground running at work and at home. IT is hot and I want to be back riding the bike on the canal. Hank and Teri, I know I said it a lot, but thank you. It was THE trip of a life time.

Don't we look great and well rested? I miss you all. Stay in touch.

Kathy

Flight schedule and last post

Just a reminder that our flight leaves on Wednesday. This Wednesday. Be there or be square.

All but the Gideons will depart from Birmingham at 11:40 a.m. on Continental Flight 2603.

We'll arrive in Houston at 1:30 p.m. and the entire group will fly from Houston to Paris on Continental Flight 10 at 3:05 p.m. Word of warning--depending on which Terminal we arrive and depart from--you may have to go through security a second time in Houston which is a huge, huge pain. Be ready for that.

Please allow plenty of time to make the flight. The Continental website suggests getting to the Birmingham airport two hours early when flying out during our time slot, so govern yourself accordingly. When you get to the airport, go ahead and check in. You all have e-tickets in your own names, so there's no need to wait for the herd to gather. The flight to Houston is on a fairly small plane, so we'll have no trouble finding each other at the gate.

Steve and Mel, you'll need to be there a couple of hours early because you're going straight to an international flight.

Jen, Colleen, Teri and I (and probably Mike) will be coming in together anyway. Jen and the kids arrived on Saturday and Teri made it home safely from Washington on Sunday.

Colleen has surfaced from her woodsy isolation, and we can't wait until she gets here. Drive safely!

If you're interested, our flight from Houston to Paris is 9 hours, 40 minutes and our flight from Paris to Houston is 11 hours, 5 minutes

I beg of you, please don't leave your passports at home! If you forget everything else, you can still go and buy or borrow what you need along the way, but without a passport you're grounded.

I suspect this will be the very last Marjorie post. If you're interested, I'll be kicking off a new "Best Year Ever" diary blog when we get back, and I'll pass on that URL once it's created.

It's been a real joy contributing to this blog. I hope you've enjoyed it and found it helpful at times. It has been my sincere prayer all along that this upcoming adventure creates wonderful memories for us to share for the rest of our lives.

See you in France.

Love,

Hank

Teri brings home hardware

Most of you know that Teri is in Washington DC until Sunday. She's there with her Ad Team from the University of Alabama who were competing in the national finals of the annual advertising competition. This is a huge deal in Teri's discipline, as over 150 colleges and universities compete every year with the top 18 or so teams advancing from district competitions to the national finals.

This year Teri became the advisor (or "coach") of the Bama team after having done this at both Auburn University at Montgomery and Loyola University.

The good news is that the Bama team came in 2nd place in the nation (Syracuse won). This is the culmination of a tremendous amount of work on the parts of the students and Teri, and is a terrific accomplishment. This is something like her 20th year taking a team to the competion. If memory serves, over that period she's been to the national finals seven times, meaning she's won the district competition that many times.

The picture here shows the group in their finery after competing in the district competion in Baton Rouge earlier this spring. Click on it (or any picture on this blog) to get a closer look. They're a terrific bunch of kids.

Of her seven trips to the finals, her teams have placed third, second (twice now) and won it all one year. Teri would know for sure, but I seriously doubt that any other ad team coach has a record anything like that.

The team flew from BHM on early Thursday morning. Six college students stayed at our house on Wednesday, so Teri left me with a lot of housework, especially since I had to turn the house around for the Marjorie guests arriving starting today. My mother and Jen and the kids will get here today. My mom will be house kid/house/pet-sitting for us while we're away.

I couldn't be more proud of my dear wife. Congratulations Teri! You're the best! I can't wait to tell you that in person tomorrow.

How great is this?

A message from our guide in Paris

Looks like we'll have a 12th person at our table for dinner on Friday, which should be very cool indeed.

Bonjour William,

Thank you very much for your kind message, I've found your picture, thanks ! You seems to be good friends and who loves France (I love USA !). I went twice in USA : in west USA in 1998 and in NYC in 1999. My favorite city in the world is New York and San Francisco

No problem for me to make a shorter walking your restaurant is not far away from Montparnasse, it is in St Germain area a little street in front of the St Germain church, so very easy to go before 8pm

Thank you so much to invite me !! Are you sure ? I don't want to be an intruder.. it is so nice, I think I can come with you to the restaurant.


I'm an administrative assistant in a humanitarian organization headoffice, I like my job, I like Paris. I was born in Paris and I grew up there. I'm not very good in history but I know Paris.


Last year, a friend from Portland visit me and I show him Paris during one week and after that, he called me Amelie Poulain (it is a famous french movie) I like to meet some people from all over the world, it is so great.

I'm volunteer guide from only one month, you will be my 2nd walking tour, but I am a guide for my friends from France and my nephews

I send you a picture of me here enclosed to help you to recognize me.

I'm working at the east of Paris and I will do my best to arrive between 5:45pm and 6:00pm

see you soon (A bientot)
friendly
armelle

PS : if you have the email address of George Clooney or Barack Obama, I can be available for them for a walking tour in Paris !!!!

Walking tour update

This is mostly for the subset of us on the walking tour (Beau, Kathy, Steve, Mel, Teri and me). I'm copying the rest of you mostly to make you jealous.

I've heard from our volunteer guide. Her name is Armelle Mercier. Her e-mail to me was very charming and she offered to give us all kinds of advice. She claims to speak only broken English (and said she'd be bringing along her French/English dictionary), but I'm positive that her English is better than my French, and between the two of us there won't be any problems.

She will be taking us on a walking tour of Montparnasse, Odeon and perhaps St. Michel.

The time slot we have is 6-8 p.m. on Friday, which bumps us right up to our group dinner at Le Petit Zinc. Armelle is a volunteer and has a regular job so she's not available before 6. She offered to meet us at the hotel. I asked her if we could be sure to end the tour in time for us to make our dinner date and will let you know how that goes, but you may be going on your walking tour in your dinner clothes.

Also, I invited her to join us for dinner after the tour if she is available (my treat), so the rest of you may meet her as well. I'll let the Maitre D know if that's happening, but I'm sure it won't be a problem for the restaurant.

A quick phone call

If you haven't already done so, now is the time to notify your credit card company that you'll be traveling to France. This will reduce the chance that your card will be declined while on the trip. It doesn't guarantee a hassle free life though.

We had our credit card declined only once on one of our trips. It happened in Turkey when buying a rug, even though I had made the call to notify the credit card companythat we'd be going there. I'll never forget that the rug cost over a BILLION Turkish Lira, but at an exchange rate of something like 1,200,000 Lira to one US Dollar at the time, we're not talking crazy wild spending here. I remember a Turkish guy telling me "we're all millionaires here." The rug merchant called the credit card collect number on the back of the card and I spoke with the guy on the other end for a few minutes and the charge went through.

Anyway, I digress. Just call the 800 number on the back of your card, and, after wading through the menu options you'll eventually get to "travel notification". I just did this with my two cards and one used a completely automated system where you entered your dates into the phone and the other actually took me to a human being. It only took a few minutes.

Typically they want at least 48 hours notice to process the notification, so do this now while you're not doing anything better with your time than reading this on the blog or your e-mail.

Links

I just added a link to the 10 day forecast for Paris to the links section of the blog on the right hand side of the screen. It's the top one.

If you've never looked at the links on the blog or haven't in a while, I suggest you spend a little time with them now, giving special attention to a few I'd like to mention.

If you're bringing an mp3 player (iPod) with you, I strongly suggest you go to the Rick Steves link and print his maps and mp3 downloads of his walking tour of Paris, and his guides to the Louvre, Orsay and Versailles. The Louvre is massive, and it would take our entire time in Paris to cover the whole thing. Even if you did spend your entire time in Paris in the Louvre, everything would be a blur without a little context or an art history degree. Rick does a terrific job of taking you to the "right" places and giving you some insight without boring you. Also, his hand drawn maps are very, very good.

I just downloaded all of those mp3 files (except the Louvre, which I'm skipping this time) and loaded them on the pod, so I guess I'm taking it after all. I'll encourage Teri to do the same thing with her pod, so we can walk around the museums like total geeks staring at paintings and having Rick tell us what we're looking at.

If you haven't already, please, please, please print out the 5 page pdf guide to our trip done by Special Places Travel and read every single word of it. It covers just about everything in terms of the practical information you need from whether to bring a computer (no) to special sightseeing tips in Paris. If you read this guide several months ago, read it again now. I just remembered that this guide was also included in the "kits" you all received so you probably have it lying around the house somewhere. It's the one that has the signed "welcome aboard" cover sheet.

If you're planning to buy a museum pass, or even if you're not, I would encourage you to go to that link and download their pdf brochure. The brochure gives the operating hours and Metro stops for all the major museums in Paris. I think they're supposed to give you this brochure if you buy the pass, but there's never a guarantee that they'll have it. Print pages 7 thru 18 (and add page 25 if you're planning to go to Versailles).

This and that

Cathleen and Kathy mentioned separately that, with our trip a week out, they were having a hard time focusing at work. I guess we'll all be a little distracted for the next few days.

***

Kathy also has a weather report. She wants everyone to know that she saw a clip of a memorial service held at Notre Dame this afternoon and that people were in shirt sleeves so it was a warm day in Paris.

***

I love a good quote, and today I discovered some great quotes that combine the two things I'm focused on at this moment--all things French and writing.

Jules Renard was a French writer whose best work was written in the early 1900s. Here are a few quotes from him about the occupation of writing:

"Writing is an occupation in which you have to keep proving your talent to people who have none."

"Writing is the only way to talk without being interrupted."

And my favorite . . .

"Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money."

***

Exactly one week from when I'm writing this, we should be over the Atlantic Ocean. Woo Hoo!

Pack your rain gear in your carry on!

The forecast has changed a bit for our arrival.

Paris Forecast for Thursday June 11

Packing List--#6 in a series

In an age of digital photography and digital e-mail, this is really old school, but be sure to pack the addresses of folks back home so you can send post cards.

Even though you'll probably get home before they arrive, people still love to receive postcards from beautiful faraway places. At least I do.

Postcards are a happy snapshot of a trip in progress and they let people know you're thinking about them--even if you're not thinking about them much--while you're off having the time of your life.

But to send postcards, you need addresses. Rather than pack your entire address book and risk losing it along the way, I would suggest deciding in advance who the folks are that you want to send cards to while you're on the trip and then writing or typing their names on sheets of paper that you keep with your photocopies of your passports and credit cards (see packing list item #3).

One cool thing about postcards is that there's not enough room on them to say more than "having a wonderful time, wish you were here", allowing you to be thoughtful without expending much actual thought or effort or taking more than a few minutes away from the fun you're having.

Teri and I always buy postcards on our trips--not just to send, but to keep too. Our theory is that if something happens to the camera, we'll still have beautiful pictures of the places we vistited. Think about it--postcards represent the best effort of a profressional photographer to capture a sight in its ideal light and perspective and at its most pristine.

Twice I've lost pictures on trips. I lost some pictures taken in Greece when a roll of film got soaked by shampoo. Lather, rinse, repeat doesn't work so well on film. Those pictures were of the changing of the guard and other Athens scenes.

On our trip to Vietnam, I came home with hundreds of pictures, but I lost the best fifty or so from the entire trip when I had them burned to a defective CD and then erased the chip to make room for even more pictures. We lost all the pictures of our overnight stay in a home in a tribal mountain village and a close encounter Teri had with a water buffalo in hiking to that village among other things.

I have the memories, but I still mourn those "lost" pictures and it's been over a decade since that trip to Greece.

Ooo la la - 75 degrees on Wednesday

Well we won't arrive in Paris until Thursday, but the Wednesday forecast is available and it is a fine one. 75 degrees and sunny with a low of 53 degrees. Hopefully Thursday will be more of the same!

Trip Fantasy #3--Steve's story

This time, the genre is musical farce.

Sadly,according to Google Earth there is no Rue Bodet.

And it appears that great band, Les Jazz Cats de Paris, also exists only in my mind. Too bad.

The Venus of this story is quite real, however. I spotted her once on Bourbon Street in New Orleans. Really.

So, who wants to be next?

----------------------------------------------------

Being a reasonable man, Steve was willing to compromise on a number of issues when packing for the big trip to France. For instance, his wife Melanie begged him to leave the pup tent and sleeping bag at home on the grounds that they would be staying in very nice hotels and on a beautiful luxury barge and not in the wilderness at any point on their journey. After due consideration and more than a little hesitation, he set them aside in favor of an extra pair of socks and a Toledo Mud Hens baseball cap.

When Melanie pleaded with him not to take the entire 16 volume set of the Encyclopedia of the French Philosophers, he compromised by taking only the odd numbered volumes excepting Volume 3, which was mostly about René Descartes. Steve disagreed violently with the 17th century Frenchman on both his philosophy and his ideas on geometry, so he left that one aside as well and threw a tie into his second suitcase after also adding Volume 4 “for balance.”

He also hesitantly agreed to put back the squirrel cage, the set of barbecue tools, most of the rolls of toilet paper, the four cans of SPAM and the clown makeup kit.

He ignored Melanie’s pleadings to pack a second shirt and another pair of pants, however. “Are you kidding—we’re traveling light,” he said sternly.

But when it came to Melvis, his magic trumpet, Steve stood his ground, no matter how much Melanie urged him to leave it behind. He wasn’t going to leave the horn at home—oh no, not on this trip. He had big plans for that trumpet.

First of all, if he didn’t bring Melvis, how could he serenade his friends aboard the barge late into the night? He didn’t want to deprive everyone of his expressions of joy (mixed with a touch of wistful melancholy) as they emanated from his instrument. To do so would just be selfish.

Then there was the movie he planned to make. As the official trip cinematographer (by virtue of being the only one in the group who owned a modern and compact video camera), Steve had big plans for the official trip DVD he was planning to make for himself and the 10 others on the trip. To properly realize his directorial and artistic vision, Steve needed certain props—hence the clown makeup and cans of SPAM (the squirrel cage and toilet paper had entirely different intended uses). How could you possibly recreate the whole Monty Python SPAM skit without actual cans of SPAM?

The trumpet, both visually and aurally was to be the symbolic center point to the big “storming the Bastille” scene he had mentally mapped out and in which he planned to heroically play the music of Dizzy Gillespie from his Afro-Cuban phase to represent a new era of French freedom and culture.

And so it was around 10 o’clock on their second night in Paris with Melanie comatose on the bed after a long day of sightseeing and one too many glasses of wine with dinner, when Steve found himself too energized to sleep. Quietly he slipped out of their hotel room, trumpet case in hand.

At first his plan was to walk to Luxembourg Gardens and play Melvis there for the pleasure of the lovers and hobos he was sure must inhabit the park late at night. He knew the park was somewhere fairly close to his hotel, but he wasn’t sure where and he just struck out in a direction that felt right.

And it was just as well his instincts were completely off and that he never came close to the Jardin du Luxembourg as he would have learned the gates there are locked at 9:45 p.m. in the summer to keep out the amorous, the homeless and especially wandering musicians.

As Steve drifted further and further from both the Luxembourg Gardens and his hotel, he came to a lively Left Bank street, Rue Bodet, filled with little nightclubs, bars and populated by a cross-section of Parisian night owls.

As he walked down Rue Bodet, Steve noticed several buskers on the street performing for the passersby. There was the cellist whose repertoire seemed limited to the music of Antonio Vivaldi and Hank Williams. The sketch artist on the corner was a hit as he drew face caricatures paired with the bodies of mythical animals. There was the one-man band causing quite a stir performing La Marseillaise—repeatedly. There was the woman painted gold from head to toe and posing as the Statue of Liberty. Her cardboard donations box didn’t have nearly as much money as the Venus de Milo who posed just a few meters away. Perhaps it was that Venus was painted in silver rather than gold, perhaps it was that she was topless to more authentically recreate the statue in the Louvre, or perhaps it was the added attraction of the very large Burmese python draped across her shiny silver shoulders.

Well, thought Steve, inspired by the variety and quality of the artistry before him, I think now would be a great time to turn pro.

Steve found a likely spot on the sidewalk outside a little café; he opened his case, removed Melvis and set the open case down before him. He reached into his wallet and pockets and tossed a couple of bills and some coins into the case to grease the skids and paused a moment to consider his playlist.

After a little thought Steve decided that Miles Davis was the only way to go for his professional debut, starting with “Kind of Blue” and then working through the entire Davis discography. “Okay Melvis, here goes nothing,” he said to his horn. Then he took a deep breath, put the mouthpiece to his lips and blew.

Something about Steve and Melvis’ style of play was a perfect karmic match for the ambience of the Rue Bodet street life. The two rapidly began to gather an appreciative audience and the revenue began to flow into the trumpet case. Even Venus de Milo took a break and came over to watch for a few minutes, although Steve found the 12-foot snake mildly distracting. The next day, he added up his take and it included 13 Euros, 2 Canadian Loonies, 1 British Pound, 1,000 Vietnamese Dong, a half full bottle of red wine and a slip of paper containing the address and phone number of someone named Marguerite along with an invitation to drop by for a visit. Steve was intrigued with the thought that Marguerite and Venus might be one in the same.

Steve had just finished “Freddie Freeloader” and was about to launch into “Blue in Green” when an agitated man waving a saxophone and wearing a beret and toupee that were both askew approached speaking French at machine gun speed and volume. This was a useless exercise on his part as French is one of many languages Steve does not speak. Steve assumed that he had stolen the man’s spot and he was attempting to reclaim his busking turf, but this was far from the case.

When the man realized Steve was a Texan-American, he changed over to heavily accented English which was not rendered more comprehensible by his already flustered state.

“You see monsieur, our trumpetman Pierre she has sickness of the eyes tonight and cannot possibly trumpet for us band players to the hour, so you must come with me—the club is pres d’ici, I mean quite close, but we are much late. I comprehend that your style of the jazz is harmonious with us and tonight is the day when we must do our famous Miles Davis concert.”

“Will there be beer?” asked Steve.

“Mais non, Monsieur, we have so much better than that. For you there will be absinthe—much absinthe.”

And indeed there was much absinthe. And that’s how Steve fulfilled the dream of a lifetime and ended up performing until dawn before a packed and wildly appreciative house at Club Tout Tout along with the seven other members of Les Jazz Cats de Paris who refer to Steve as “our member in exile” to this very day.

Or at least that’s how he remembers it.

Packing for the weather

It's time to start thinking long and hard about the clothes you're bringing with you, not that some of you haven't been doing that for months.

One great tool as you decide what to bring with you and what to leave at home is the 10 day forecast at weather.com.

If you've never done this, just go to the site, type Paris, France into the search bar towards the top of the screen and then click on the 10-Day option. Or you can just click here.

As I write this, the 10 day forecast goes up to June 9th, the day before we leave. For the record the forecast is for a high of 68, a low of 54 and 20% chance of rain. That translates in metric units (which is what most of the rest of the world uses, and the only temperature units you'll see while we're over there) to a high of 20 and a low of 12. Just for reference 10C=50F, 20C=68F and 30C=86F. I'll keep you posted on the forecast as the days draw nearer, but count on the highs running between the upper 60s and upper 70s with cool nights

Music mix

Teri and I sat on the porch the other night and had a very long discussion about a critical life issue--what to put on the CD we wanted to burn and bring with us to play aboard the boat.

We took the process very seriously. Really.

We took turns choosing songs that we thought would be "perfect" for the ambience aboard the barge at the end of a day of power touring through Burgundy.

Some of the songs were about growing older, some reflected the way we feel about our life experiences over the last several years, a couple were about travel--but most were just plain fun. Don't worry Cathleen, "Dancing Queen" made the cut so you will have the pleasure of Mike performing for you once again.

If you're so inclined and have both the time and technical skills, I'd encourage you to make a CD of your own favorites and bring it with you to play on the barge's stereo for one of those special nights.

Trip Fantasy #2--A Sergeant's Story

Some of you enjoyed my foray into the genre of romantic chick lit starring Colleen.

Tonight I want to try my hand at an international thriller--this time with Jeff in a leading role, even though he appears only offstage throughout.

-------------------------------------

“Well it went a few days longer than we planned, but our relaxing trip to France is almost over,” Jennifer sighed as she signaled the waiter for another glass of Chablis. “This has been amazing, but I’m really ready to get back home to the kids and our normal lives.”

Ten of the eleven members of the group were gathered at the Hemingway Bar at the Ritz Paris struggling to process the events of the last two weeks.

“Come on Jen, I don’t think our lives are going to be normal again for a long time, but at least we haven’t had to go through everything Jeff has,” Melanie replied. “Hey Cathleen, where is he anyway?”

“I haven’t seen him for a few hours. I think he’s over at the embassy again being debriefed for the zillionth time since it happened. He’s getting fitted for the new dress uniform they flew over from the States. He’s also getting directions on how to bow, curtsey, salute or whatever he has to do when he stands there for his photo op with President Sarkozy,” Cathleen said. “At least all I have to do is wear this fancy new designer dress they gave me and not embarrass our nation by using the wrong spoon with the wrong course at the state dinner."

"I think I’ll be sitting next to Carla Bruni at dinner tonight," she continued. "Hank I’ll know you’re a little obsessed with her so I’ll make sure you get to meet her. Oh, I almost forgot--Jeff called me in the room while I was getting ready and he told me we’re going to LA next week so he can appear on Leno in prime time—how cool is that? First he gets interviewed by Matt Lauer on the Today show and now this.”

“That reminds me, look at this,” Kathy said reaching into her bag. “I just got the latest issues of Time and Newsweek from the hotel gift shop, and Jeff is on the cover of both of them. The headline of Newsweek says ‘America Saves France—Again’ while the cover of Time just says ‘Hero’ in huge type.”

“I wonder if going to a state dinner at the Elysées Palace is going to be like banquet night at one of my sales meetings, only on a bigger scale and with better wine,” Steve wondered aloud. “I’m with Jen--I’m about ready to get home. The attention was kind of fun at first, but I was disappointed we had to miss the first three days of the barge trip, and when we did go, we had all those camera crews following us around everywhere. Don’t get me wrong, the free rooms at the Ritz and the first class seats home on Air France tomorrow are great, but I’m a little overwhelmed and ready to take a vacation from our vacation.

“Yeah, I just checked my e-mail for the first time since we got here," added Melanie, "and I promise you that everyone in the world has now heard of the Bonjour Y’all Social Aid and Pleasure Club. People everywhere found our blog and our logo is already on T-shirts and other stuff for sale on the internet. I’m going to have to get one of those. But I’ll bet my husband will be able to use some of the footage from all those camera crews to realize his artistic directorial vision for the vacation video he’s promised to make for all of us.”

“And you can’t deny people have been nice to us,” Beau said. “All those gifts and dinners everywhere we went—what a great deal. I can't get over it man. Hey look, there’s Jeff on CNN again.” None of the others bothered to look up at the bar television. Seeing Jeff’s face on CNN and Fox News, or even seeing their own faces on TV, was no longer a novelty for any of them.

“I can’t wait to see someone I know get the Legion of Honor from the President of France,” said Colleen as she sipped her beer. “It will be just like that scene in that movie where Luke Skywalker, Indiana Jones and the furry cookie monster creature are given medals by Princess Whatshername. I guess we can be the droids chirping with pride in the background. Which one of those movies was that?”

“It was Han Solo, not Indiana Jones and it was Episode IV of Star Wars,” said Mike. “But it was the first one and it was just called Star Wars when it came out. It didn’t become episode IV until George Lucas started cranking out the sequels. Oh and the furry cookie monster is called a wookie and it was Princess Leia, not Whatshername.”

“Whatever. I wonder if he can wear that French medal with his American service uniform after we get home.”

“Hey listen to this,” said Teri who had opened Newsweek to the cover story. “The people of France once again owe America a debt of gratitude as the nation and one of the world’s great cities was saved for a third time in a single century by the US military. This time it was a quick acting Chief Master Sergeant in the Air Force on his first day of vacation in Paris who singlehandedly prevented the unthinkable from happening—an act of nuclear terrorism in the symbolic and spiritual center of one of the world’s greatest cities. Parisians are referring to CMSgt. Jeff Erwin as the Angel of Notre Dame.” Teri was finding it hard to continue with tears in her eyes.

“Keep going,” urged Hank.

“Well then it goes on to the stuff we’ve seen and heard a thousand times—about Jeff spotting the guy dumping the panel van outside of Notre Dame Cathedral and then running away. How Jeff recognized the bomb in the back. How he managed to drive the van into the Seine and then saw Amar Hamza, the Algerian terrorist, frantically trying to set off the device with his cell phone. Then it goes into how Jeff ran down and held the most wanted man in Europe until the gendarmes took over. Blah. Blah. Blah.”

“Oh wait, here’s a picture of all of us—it’s the one of us in our back yard from the planning party last year that Hank posted on the blog. And here’s another of some of us on the Marjorie 2. And here’s a picture of Jeff in Iraq that also was on the blog. Clearly a staffer read every word of the Marjorie blog because it goes into detail about how this was the trip of a lifetime for the members of the Bonjour Y’all Social Aid and Pleasure Club.

“Good grief!” exclaimed Teri. “There’s a quote from you Hank, I can’t believe you said this or that they printed it. ‘Jeff Erwin may be known to the world as the man who saved Paris, but you should see him with a barbecue grill and a hunk of meat—that’s where Jeff is my hero’, said Hank Henley, Erwin’s friend and traveling companion. When did you talk to Newsweek, you goofball?"

“Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! The next quote is from Steve. Y'all are not going to believe what he said. Listen to this.”

“Excuse me Madame Henley,” interupted Francois, the Ritz concierge assigned to the group. “But your Limousines have arrived and they are waiting to take you to the palace."

We're all less than millionaires

That headline may not have come as news to anyone, but this is just the coolest thing.

I had just finished the last post when I noticed that the countdown clock was within a minute of crossing under a million seconds.

I screamed for Teri and she made it just in time to watch the "odometer" click to 999999. I also was able to make a screen capture of it for you.

Big day for me

I beg your indulgence today, because this post has absolutely nothing to do with travel or France or anything else this blog is supposed to be about.

Today I want to write about me. It's a really big day in my life and I want to share a bit of it with you.

After a good 14 year run, this is my last day as an employee of John Wiley & Sons. At 5:01 p.m. today, I strike out on my own and will be either unemployed or self-employed, depending on how you look at it. At that same moment I will become both the CEO of The Infinite Monkey, Ltd. and a professional writer. Well, I'll be a professional writer in the same sense that the woman who took your order at PF Chang's last night is a professional actress and a CEO in the same sense that the head of Chrysler is a CEO. But still.

Wiley has been a truly wonderful organization to work for filled with wonderful people, many of whom will be friends for life. If you don't know what the company did for Teri and me post-Katrina, be sure to ask--it was nothing short of amazing.

It's not that I'm quitting a job or a company. I'm leaving because of the opportunity cost of staying in the job I have outweighs the rewards of plugging away at it for another 15 years.

I sent out a heartfelt goodbye memo to a whole lot of the folks at the company and got scads of fan mail in return. Quite a number of those return messages were amazingly kind and tugged at my heart. Quite a few recounted "I'll always remember when . . ." moments that were either hilarious or poignant or both.

It really was like going to your own funeral and discovering that the reviews were way better than you thought they'd be.

A lot of those e-mails used words like "courageous" and "my hero" in them. Just when I told Teri that I was getting comfortable with my newfound sense of nobility, Callie puked on our freshly cleaned carpet. That's when Teri handed me an old towel and said she had just the cure for that swelling head of mine.

I really am very excited about "the best year ever" Teri and I are about to embark upon and in which you will play a major role commencing in just a few days. In a year or so we'll have a clearer idea of whether chasing after dreams was a brilliant move on my part or the act of middle aged moron. This is a very big risk for us, and Teri is generously bearing more than her share of the risk without complaint. She didn't sign up for middle aged crazy, but she's got it, and she's coping with it better than I could have dreamed.

It's kind of a lose-lose proposition if you think about it. If I fail then it was a ridiculous thing to to in the first place. But if I succeed it means I squandered a lot of my most productive years before making this move.

Anyway, thanks for indulging me. We now resume our regularly scheduled programming.

Prelude to a wedding

Since we're all vying for a spot in Colleen's wedding, here's a little more information on how it came to be.

--------------------------------------------------------------

The little café looked so inviting to Colleen after a long day of power touring the Burgundy countryside. Maybe a quick cup of coffee and a smoke would lighten her mood.

The trip to France wasn’t going as she had hoped. The weather had been miserable from the very start, and it had rained seemingly non-stop for four straight days. As much as she loved them, her 10 traveling companions were beginning to get on her nerves. They were dear sweet people and old friends, but Colleen was more than ready for a break from them and the inevitable drama and groupthink that came with moving in a pack.

She thought breaking away from the herd and not joining the group tour to the castle or cathedral or winery or whatever over planned activity was on the agenda for that day would make her feel better. But the rain kept coming, Colleen’s self-guided tour had been kind of boring, she was all by herself and maybe just a tiny bit homesick.
The sun peeked out from behind a cloud just as she sat down at the cafe sidewalk table. Two minutes later she was engaged in a conversation with Jacques, the man holding down the table next to hers.

In his late fifties, he was tall and projected strength on a lean but muscular frame. His sharp blue inquisitive eyes and his Gallic nose gave his face an almost birdlike aspect. Fashionably dressed, Colleen learned that Jacques was a widower, had studied in the States (the Colorado School of Mines), loved the band ABBA and always dreamed of going to Mardi Gras in New Orleans but had never quite made it.
He was a businessman with a love of American football, and since the Colorado School of Mines didn’t play Division I football, he decided he would adopt the LSU Bayou Bengals as the team he would root for and claimed to have a collection of LSU memorabilia at home.

Jacques and Colleen learned a lot about each other over the course of the next several hours and found each other deeply intriguing.
Then Colleen looked at her watch. “Merde,” she exclaimed, “I’m way late and my barge has just sailed without me.”
“No problem,” said Jacques. “It can’t be too hard to find your barge since it won’t leave the canal. I’ll take you to the barge, but first you will have dinner at my house.”

“Oh I couldn’t impose on you,” said Colleen.

“It is no imposition Madame, in fact I have already called ahead and our ride should be arriving just now . . . ah there is Julien now.”

Colleen didn’t know a great deal about cars, but she had an idea that the classic Bentley convertible that pulled up alongside their table at the café was worth many years of her salary, even counting the extra jobs and overtime she put in. Then there was the older guy behind the wheel in a chauffeur’s getup straight out of an old movie.

Jacques saw Colleen’s look of surprise. “It’s nothing,” he said as he opened the door for her. “The car was inherited—Julien too, I’m afraid.”

Then Jacques spoke briefly to his driver. Colleen’s phrasebook French left her in the dust as they spoke, but she was able to pick out the word chateau and thought she heard the words peniche (barge) and après diner (after dinner).

They made a quick stop at the village boulongerie along the way, where Jacques and Colleen hopped out to pick up a baguette for dinner. The baker’s wife engaged Jacques in a friendly conversation, all the while casting furtive glances Colleen’s way. Colleen understood rien de tout but she could have sworn that the shopkeeper addressed him as Marcus instead of Jacques.

When Julien was back on the road Colleen asked about Jacques other name. Was Marcus his last name? Is it a French custom to use different names with different people?
“Oh that,” Jacques said dismissively. “She wasn’t saying Marcus, she was saying Marquis. I’m afraid you’re in the company of the Marquis de Beaune and some of the older people around here still insist on using the old title.”

“Ah, we’re home,” said Jacques as the car pulled down a long tree lined driveway to the front door of a beautiful chateau. “Marie will give you a quick tour and show where you can freshen up. I understand that Isabelle is quite out of sorts having to prepare dinner for an extra person on almost no notice, so I wouldn’t go in the kitchen just now. And, the weather she has cleared up and it looks like we’re in for a beautiful sunset, so I’ll meet you outside for cocktails in just a few minutes.”

Wow, this trip got interesting in a hurry, thought Colleen.

Walking tour anyone?

I just registered with a non-profit organization called Paris Greeters.

What they do is provide free walking tours (they are free, but they are happy to accept donations) by a native Parisian. You won't be going to the big sights on this tour. The whole idea is to give you a back-door tour of Paris by walking through "undiscovered" neighborhoods and getting a taste of the real Paris.

The guide is a volunteer who wants to show off their city. Their website says that "at the end of the walk, we really want you to have the feeling that you have not only discovered the city but also had an insight into what we call the 'Parisian way of life.'" Here's the link to their website.

There are a couple of catches. There's no guarantee this is going to happen at all until they confirm with me that someone will be available to give the tour. Also, I can't guarantee a date at this point--I gave them a couple of choices. Finally there are a maximum of six people allowed on the tour, so our entire group can't go.

I'm going, and I'm sure my dear spouse will want to go too. That leaves four slots. Who's in? To be fair, the first four to bounce back by leaving a comment to this post "win" the slots. If everyone wants to do this, let me know and we'll get someone else to register, but we'll have to do it right away since they want three weeks lead time.

The first day

I just want to prepare you a little for your first day in France.

Our flight is scheduled to land in Paris at something like 7:40 a.m. on Thursday.

By the time we collect our luggage and clear customs it should be around 9 a.m.

We've arranged for two vans to pick us up at the airport and deliver us to the hotel. By the time we get everything sorted out and into town it should be around 11a.m. or a little later.

Here's where you need to prepare. The odds that our rooms will be waiting for us that early in the day at this hotel are approximately zero. What we can do is take care of some of the formalities at check-in and then dump the bags with the front desk.

From there we'll be free to roam the streets of Paris until our rooms are waiting for us.

Here's the catch: Odd are you're going to be very, very tired and jet lagged on arrival. You probably won't feel truly human again until you wake up in the hotel on Friday morning.

If the weather is nice, a nice walk or a ride on the bateaux mouche would be something to consider. Otherwise I'd hit one of the museums (any museum except the Louvre--way to intense for your jet lagged self).

After a little light orientation touring, a nice dinner at a little cafe and a good night's sleep, you'll be really ready to crank up the trip and take Paris by storm.

I'm open to any and all suggestions on how to spend that first day in Paris. Who has ideas?

Ask Marjorie

Dearest Marjorie,

I'm a big fan.

I'm wondering, should I bring a backpack? What size luggage should I bring?

Signed,

Montgomery Legal Eagle

Dear Eagle,

Marjorie thinks that a small backpack (the kind that kids take to school) are a perfect accessory for a trip like the one you're about to take. You can fit a camera, sunglasses, guidebook, bottle of water and other sundries in the pack with room left over for any small purchases you make during the course of the day. When traveling international, Marjorie uses her small pack as her carry on.

As for the luggage, you can check two bags without any fees on this international trip as long as they don't exceed 70 pounds (each) and don't exceed 62 inches when you add the length, width and height of each bag. Don't exceed these limits as the penalties are pretty steep.

Marjorie is all about packing light, but she understands that different people have different ideas about what constitutes "packing light". Take what you think you'll need and no more, and be sure to leave some space in at least one of your bags to pack any souvenirs you may acquire along the way. On a couple of different trips Marjorie has bought an extra suitcase on her travels because she bought so much stuff and had no room in her luggage to get it all home.

On this trip, you'll only be packing and unpacking a couple of times, so taking a big bag shouldn't be a problem. Bear in mind that hotel rooms in Europe and cabins on barges tend to be small, so a bunch of huge suitcases can quickly turn your living area into an obstacle course.

Your friend,

Marjorie

The Hills are Alive . . .

Dear Marjorie,

Will it be possible to use my iPod with the stereo system aboard the boat so that I can share my tunes with the group? Or should I bring along a small, cheap pair of computer speakers that could be donated to the boat when we depart?

What would the trip be without a least one rousing rendition of “Dancing Queen” with Mike?

Sincerely,

Dance Feverish in Gadsden

Dear Feverish,

Marjorie has been giving the whole music thing a lot of thought.

She doesn't know if your pod will plug directly into the boat's stereo system, but she has a device that will allow you to play your pod through any nearby FM radio. That should do the trick nicely if she can remember to pack it for you.

But Marjorie also suggests that everyone burn one CD of their party favorites and bring it with them. If everyone does this, your group would have something like 15 hours of music on hand, and would only be subjected to the dubious taste of any given member of the party for less than two hours.

The danger of the pod, as Marjorie has learned on long drives with friends, is that it can lead to musical tyranny and even the musical equivalent of waterboarding if your musical preferences seriously diverge from that of the podmaster's.

But Marjorie is well acquainted with your particular taste in music Feverish, and she trusts you to bring only the good stuff--so go ahead and pack that pod.

Audibly Yours,

Marjorie

Lagniappe

If you are one of those faithful readers who gets your Marjorie news only via e-mail, you might want to check out the website for these "bonus" items.

1. The countdown clock is looking happier by the second. It currently stands at less than three weeks, less than 500 hours, less than 30,000 minutes and less than two million seconds.

2. The recent post on packing a book in your carry-on has had a lot of response. Check the comments link on that post to find out what your fellow travelers will be reading on the trip and add your own literary selections.

3. Today is the last day to exercise your franchise in our latest exercise in scientific polling. Currently french fries are barely edging out french kissing. If anyone has an idea for a multiple choice poll you'd like to see on the blog, pass it on.

What Not to Pack #3

In a word: anxieties.

As we get closer to departure (can you believe that we're only three weeks away! I hope you put away any concerns you may have about this trip.

If you're at all worried about "fitting in" with the group or what you're going to wear at any given point or if you'll be able to communicate and get around in a foreign country, or what you'll do if you encounter an "issue" on the trip--don't worry--everything's going to be okay.

If you have any anxieties about anything at all related to this little party, put them aside. It's going to be fine.

As for the people going on this trip--every one of us is a pretty wonderful human being. We're all weird in our own little ways--I've known most of you for many, many years, and I can state that with certainty. We're also very different from one another in many ways. But I think that weirdness and those differences are going to come together in a beautiful and groovy way over the course of our journey together. I am so excited about spending this time with each and every one of you that I can't stand it. So don't worry about what "the group" will think of you--we love you already or you wouldn't be with us.

For those of you who have never been overseas or haven't been in a long time, don't worry about communication or getting along "over there." Europeans are used to dealing with people who don't speak their tongues. There are a whole lot of countries in Europe and more languages than countries and they know how to make it work. The truth is that one of the big ways they make it work is by pretty much everyone speaking some English.

And when you have to deal with someone who can't or won't speak English, you'll be amazed at how much you can communicate by pointing and gesturing.

You may get lost in Paris, I'd be disappointed if you didn't, but, trust me, you'll get found again. So be brave, be adventurous and don't be afraid to strike out on your own now and then.

Don't worry about what's going on back home while you're away. If someone dies or the house burns down, you'll probably get a call. And if you don't get that call, you can assume that all is well on the home front.

And the bulk of our trip is going to be spent on a barge in Burgundy with a crew of five dedicated to catering to our every whim. We're going to be wined, dined, toured and generally treated like royalty. I can't imagine anything going wrong on that part of the tour.

If there's a medical issue, there are doctors and drugstores in France and we have two health professionals in our group. If you forget to bring something with you, they have something like it or better over there too.

If you get robbed or pickpocketed, you've got a great story, and we'll make sure your trip goes on.

If you want to be anxious about anything at all, you have my permission to be anxious about getting to the airport plenty early for our flight to France. After you've boarded the plane, everything else will fall into place.

One last piece of advice while I'm thinking of it, and this is based on a whole lot of experience. Make good plans, but don't be afraid to divert from them from time to time. Don't be a slave to your itinerary, your agenda or your checklist of sights to see. Some of the most memorable experiences you have will simply happen when you're not looking for them. But they'll only happen if you let them.

Sometimes you don't take a trip--sometimes you let the trip take you.

Packing List--#5 in a series

Some of you know of my unhealthy attachment to my iPod, but I'm going to leave it at home on this trip. I'm also seriously considering not bringing a camera under the assumption that the rest of you are going to take more pictures on this trip than the all the paparrazi on Oscar night and may be willing to share your best shots with me--but I'll bet I cave in and throw a camera in the backpack at the last minute.

However I will be taking one essential travel accessory with me--a bit of old school media. I'll be bringing along a book. I don't mean a guidebook or a phrasebook, although I'll have a few of those packed away as well. I mean a book book. One for reading. Just for the pleasure of it.

I always pack a book when I travel, and on our big trips it often relates somehow to the adventure at hand.

On one trip to Italy I read Mark Twain's Innocents Abroad. It was so fun following in Twain's footsteps and seeing the sights through his wry, hilarious and sometimes bitter filter. His description of the Cathedral in Milan, for instance, was dead on, and his words could have been written yesterday instead of 140 years ago. It was a little spooky seeing it just as he did all those years later.

On our trip to China a few years ago, we spent nine days aboard a boat going up the Yangtze River. For that trip I brought along The River at the Center of the World by Simon Winchester, an absolutely brilliant geographic and historical exploration of the that river. The book started in Shanghai (as did our trip) and went back in time as it went up-river. It was mind blowing going up the Yangtze and back in time along with the book.

When the 5th Harry Potter book Order of the Phoenix published on the day after we flew out for a two week cruise to the Baltic, I was already a huge fan of the kiddie series and was disappointed that I wouldn't be able to have it to read on the trip. Our flight landed in London on the morning the book released, and I was really excited that I was able to buy a copy at Heathrow about two minutes after we cleared customs. I thoroughly enjoyed both the book and the trip and read the last page on the flight home. It was kind of fun having the UK version with its different cover and Britified spellings of some words.

This time I'm actually going to pack two books. One was a gift from Steve a few months back, and I've been saving it especially for our trip because it links exquisitely to what our trip means for me. The 50 Year Dash--The Feelings, Foibles, and Fears of Being Half-a-century Old contains the musings of the always-entertaining columnist Bob Greene. I've enjoyed Greene's writing for over 20 years and am really looking forward to this one.

The second book I'm bringing isn't related to the trip at all--at least I hope it isn't. The Road, a critically acclaimed post-apocalyptic father-son story by Cormac McCarthy is another title I've been looking forward to reading for a while. I was blown away when I saw the movie No Country For Old Men and wasn't surprised when it won the Academy Award for Best Picture that year. Then I read the book and realized exactly why the film turned out so well--the material it was based on was just that good.

So, give it some thought and toss a book in your carry on. Maybe in a few years you can pack one of mine.

Ask Marjorie Redux

Dear Marjorie,

Some of my outfits may get wrinkled. Is there a way to iron clothing while on board?

Signed,

Kathy in Montgomery

Great question Kathy!

Marjorie was a little worried about this herself since she always insists on crisply pressed clothing at all times. You'll never catch Marjorie looking less than her best.

Here's the definitive answer from Lori at Special Places Travel:

"I received confirmation this morning that there is an iron available on board Marjorie II. The gals need only ask the crew. Please spread this reply around.

Let us know if other questions come up, we are happy to help!"

Ask Marjorie

Here are a couple of letters that have crossed Marjorie's transom over the last couple of days, so she thought she'd take a stab at writing an advice column.

Dear Marjorie,

I was looking at the Paris museum pass website today. It says to allow 10 days for shipping if you plan to order them before your trip. Is this something I should do? A two day pass is 32Euros ($43.50). I’m thinking about it.

Curious in Gadsden

Dear Curious,

By all means buy the museum pass if you are going to either a bunch of museums or several of the popular ones (like the Louvre) with long lines that you will now be able to skip by flashing the pass.

But don't buy it until you get there. The fees associated with buying it on-line are pretty steep (about $18 extra). If you buy it over there, you won't have to pay the extra surcharge. You can buy the pass at the tourist information kiosk at the airport or at any of the museums.

-------------------------------------------------

Hi Marjorie,

You are so wise, and I want to take your advice to pack light, but after tallking to Teri, I realize I am supposed to dress "cute" for dinner. Now I don't know WHAT to pack!

Help!

Signed,

Lost in Lynchburg


Dear Lost

We probably ought to have Teri weigh in on this subject, but "cute" doesn't have to mean lots and lots of stuff in the suitcase. There's no law against wearing the same outfit more than once on a trip and there's no law that says you have to abide by anyone else's dress code. This is your vacation, after all.

Marjorie knows Teri pretty well and happens to know that she brings some lightweight outfits that qualify as "cute" and she is able to mix and match in different ways over the course of a vacation.

Also, there's no law that says that you have to pack light. You can bring as much stuff as you want with you, but Marjorie is pretty sure that travelers who tote less of their material possessions with them are happier overall.

That's it for this installment of Ask Marjorie--keep those cards and letters coming

Worth listening to

I don't know if any of you listen to the Diane Rehm show on public radio, but she often has pretty interesting guests.

Today she had the author of a new book on the Eiffel Tower as a guest for a one hour segment. It's great listening if you're into the history of this great monument that you're about to go see and maybe even climb upon.

The history of this tower is pretty darn fascinating, and this episode is well worth your time.

You can download this segment free on i-Tunes or you can listen to it directly from Diane Rehm's website. Here's the link.

Our first anniversary is sponsored by . . .

We have another anniversary to celebrate today. Exactly one year ago today I published the first post on this blog. The title of that post . . . "the adventure begins." Remember that one?

Oh, and in the last couple of days I earned $10 because of this very blog and can now say I'm a professional writer thanks to Marjorie. For real! Here's how that happened:

A few days ago in a post about raincoats, I happened to mention a certain large national retailing chain. I'm not saying their name here for reasons that shall become clear momentarily.

Anyway, a very nice representative of that large national retailer spotted their name in our blog and offered to send me a $10 gift card for mentioning them in a positive light. How cool is that?

I guess they have some sort of "Super Google" that scours their name on the web. My geeky advertising professor wife is very excited about this and plans to use it as an example of social media in her upcoming classes.

I'm not saying the name again here because their "Super Google" will catch it again and we could end up in an endless shower of gift certificates. But the picture above should give you a clue as to who my new benefactor is. If they catch this post based on the picture, then they have some sort of "Super Duper Google Deluxe" and I'll be a little afraid of who is able to monitor what on the web.

I only wish Continental Airlines had that "Super Google" and had contacted me when they were screwing up our reservations and I was saying all that mean stuff about them several months ago. There have been subsequent and equally difficult dealings with the airline in the recent past, and I haven't bothered y'all with those details--but clearly our airline isn't investing in the "Super Google" program.

It's always a treat when a random someone stumbles onto our blog. I hear from them every so often, but I'm sure there are others who have been in and out of our lives without leaving a trace. That's kind of a cool thing--there's no way of knowing exactly who is lurking anonymously out there.

Packing List--#4 in a series

In a word--money.

I've told the old saying about packing for an overseas trip before--that if you take out half the clothes in your suitcase and add twice the money in your wallet, your trip will go beautifully. It's kind of true. I've returned from plenty of trips with clothes I never wore in my suitcase, but I've never come back with gobs of extra cash. It just doesn't work out that way somehow.

In this case, you'll need Euros. Many places around the world are more than happy to accept US Dollars, and may in fact prefer them over their own currency. France is not one of those places--you need the local stuff. You can get Euros in advance from your local bank (but they may have to special order them for you, so plan this a bit in advance of the trip), or you can just use your ATM card at any ATM machine once you get over there. No matter what you do, you're going to pay for the privilege of turning Dollars to Euros in the form of fees and exchange rate hanky panky, so don't get way more than you plan to spend.

The last couple of weeks, the dollar has been sliding fast against the euro, which is not good news for us. The current rate of exchange is $1.36 per Euro. Hopefully things won't get much worse in the next month.

One reminder--the last night of the cruise we'll be expected to tip the crew. This is voluntary, but the customary amount is between 5 and 10 percent of the cost of the cruise, payable in Euros to the captain. So, doing the math, and at the current rate of exchange, that comes to between 140 and 280 euros per person--that of course assumes that you are satisfied with the service provided, and I expect you will be. So we'll need to plan to have a fair amount of cash on hand on the last night.

Let me know if this presents a problem for anyone in the group.

Oh, you will probably want to bring along a few US Dollars in your pocket (maybe a $20 bill) for buying munchies at the airport, but you won't need much in the way of US currency on this trip.

Found while looking for something else

Packing List--#3 in a series

This one is a must.

Take your passport, driver license, debit card and whatever credit cards you plan to bring with you to France and head to your scanner or a photocopier. Then photocopy the inside page of your passport (the page with your picture and other basic data like passport number, etc). Also photocopy both the front and back of your debit and credit cards.

Once you've done that, make sure you can clearly read the numbers on your credit and debit cards on the photocopy you just made. If not, then write them down on your sheet of paper next to the image of the card. Then make sure you can read the emergency phone numbers on the photocopy of the reverse side of your cards. If not, write those down on your sheet.

You don't need to take more than one debit card and one credit card, by the way, so leave those library cards, Sears cards, grocery store cards etc. at home in a drawer. If you were planning to take a Discover card with you, don't bother--they're useless in Europe. Visa, MasterCard and Amex are the only ones you should consider bringing.

Here's the next step--on your trip make sure you have your photocopies stored safely in a place separate from your actual passport and credit cards.

The whole idea is that if any of these items are lost or stolen along the way, it will be much easier to replace them.

One other thing about credit cards. Make sure you've signed the back of your credit cards before you go. For some reason, they make a bigger deal of this over there than they do here--and you will find that store clerks and waiters will actually scrutinize your signature on the card and receipt to make sure they match.

Teri at half a century

I'm sure you all know the story, but the whole reason this trip is happening is I really screwed up exactly 10 years ago.

Teri made it known to me that she wanted a party on her 40th birthday. Not only, did I not deliver on the party, I was out of town on the actual day, so she ended up spending the evening out with a couple of colleagues, one of which ended up as a thorn in her side for most of the next decade.

So, I promised I'd make it up to her and started a little savings plan that we called our 50th Birthday Party Fund. Every month $50 went into the pot and whenever a bonus or other extra money came our way, we'd throw in a little more. Needless to say, that little account prospered. Eventually we had to decide what to do with our 50th Birthday Party Fund and it has turned into the little adventure we're about to embark upon.

So while, we'll be celebrating Teri's 50th birthday (and mine too) on our last night aboard the Marjorie 2, her actual birthday is tomorrow (May 12th). I'll be right behind her as I'll turn 50 on August 26th.

So give Teri a thought tomorrow, and you can be thankful that I was a real screwup exactly 10 years ago.

Packing List--#2 in a series

It's been raining a lot here at Chez Henley over the last week or so.

My garden is growing beautifully. If you show up at our place any time starting in the next few weeks, you're likely to have eggplants, peppers, squash and tomatoes forced on you. The grass on my lawn needs mowing every few days here in the verdant suburbs and Teri's flowers are blooming like crazy.

Our beautiful and slightly damp spring reminds me that it also rains in Europe, and, just like here, they have wet spells and dry spells across the pond. We've had trips to Europe where we barely saw a drop of rain and others where it rained for several days in a row. I'll let you know the 10 day forecast for Paris as we get a little closer to the trip, but the deal is that there's no way of knowing how much rain we'll have on our little parade.

I like to say that when you're traveling, there's no such thing as bad weather--only unprepared tourists. To that end, I highly suggest you pack a light nylon rain poncho. Teri and I bought a couple of cheap ponchos (or anoraks) over 10 years ago and they've served us well many, many times. I think we got ours at Old Navy, but I just checked their website and couldn't find them for sale. Not to worry, I'm sure you can get something just as good from WalMart or LL Bean or any number of other retailers. I did find a really nice one on Rick Steve's website for $30 and a whole lot of different ones on the Amazon website.

Ours fold up into their own little pouch that weighs almost nothing and takes very little space in your backpack. But when the skies open up, they're a lifesaver.

Our Kit Came!

I just returned from our mailbox and our "kit" had arrived from Special Places Travel, so yours should be waiting for you in the next day or two if it hasn't reached you already.

I also got a call from a very excited Beau last night. Beau is a teetotaler, but if I didn't know better, I would have thought he had gotten into the happy juice--he was that worked up about the upcoming trip.


31 days to go until we take Paris!

Found while looking for something else

News items

I've got a few news items for you:

1. You should have gotten an e-mail from Sally at the travel agency confirming your details before she sends you your "cruise kit". Take a look at her message and if anything looks wrong, let her know right away.

2. We have just 40 days before we leave! It's going to get here before you know it.

3. Today's item to pack is Tamiflu. With this swine flu spreading, better safe than sorry. Our medical director suggests that you take care of this quickly, given that there's likely to be a run on the stuff. Tamiflu and Relenza are two anti-viral drugs that are effective against this bug when taken early. I've got a supply left over from our adventures in Vietnam (bird flu was the scare two years ago, if you'll recall), and I'll be bringing our stash with us.

4. It won't help us, but on July 1 the restaurant tax in France will drop from 19.6% to 5.5%. Oh well. Maybe it will mean that a lot of French folks will hold off on fine dining for the couple of weeks before the big price drop, which will mean easy reservations or short waits for us in Paris. Just a thought.

5. This one is kind of wacky. Apparently someone broke into the apartment of the brother of the former boyfriend of the First Lady of France Carla Bruni. The only things stolen were intimate videos and pictures of the first lady and her ex. Look for those to surface soon, causing much embarrassment to all. Apparently Bruni's ex, gave the pictures and videos to his brother for "safekeeping", and reports are that the break-in was suspicious.

7. Lance Armstrong is getting over a broken collarbone and says he'll be ready for the upcoming Tour de France bicycle race.

8. A Euro costs $1.33 today. It's been hovering between $1.29 and $1.33 for the last several weeks.

Found while looking for something else

Travel Channel Video - Paris, etc.

I saw a program on the Travel Channel this weekend on Paris. It was Samantha's Brown - "great weekends" show. So, I've googled her and paris and apparently there are many video clips of her travels there. She ate in a bistro that we MUST try - fabulous chocolate mousse served in a large bowl for the table.

Here's a link to the search I did: http://search.travelchannel.com/travel/Samantha%20Brown%20Paris

Special swine flu edition

If you've turned on your TV or looked at a newspaper in the last day or two, you've heard breathless coverage about the swine flu "pandemic" in Mexico. Of course if you live in Alabama, you may not know about this since it's been pretty much wall to wall coverage of the big wrecks at the Talladega NASCAR race for the last couple of news cycles.

Don't you just love the media? First of all, it's not a pandemic . . . yet. For this breakout to become a pandemic it has to go global and effect a whole lot more people than it has so far.

While it's true that over 100 people in Mexico have died from this bug, which is pretty bad, the cases that are showing up in the US appear to be much milder.

The real news from this is that the European Union's health commissioner today urged Europeans to postpone nonessential travel to the United States or Mexico due to swine flu.

What does this mean for us and our trip? Who knows? Is it theoretically possible that this flu outbreak could cause all transatlantic travel to be stopped for a period of time and cancel our trip? Yeah, I guess, but it's really unlikely. Let's hope that this outbreak is contained and it's old news in a month or so when we're heading to Europe.

Experts say that stopping air travel at this point won't work anyway as it's really difficult to contain a flu breakout by banning travel quickly enough in these days of air travel. Besides, the first case of this bug has already been reported in Spain, so the virus has made it to the EU already.

So here's the advice from our Médecin examinateur En chef (Colleen, our chief medical officer). "When you get to the what to pack or update entries, can you post a reminder to everyone to make sure that they have had a flu shot this year? (not that it covers Influenza A H1N1) I am monitoring the swine flu issue, and am packing a N95 mask for each of us in case things get worse. Everyone should pack hand sanitizer. Wouldn't it be crazy to be quarantined in France?"

Totally selfish blog post

Okay guys, I need your help with something completely unrelated to Marjorie.

In just over a month I'm going to be a self-employed individual. It occurs to me that I need a business card, web site, whatever, in order to make this mid-life crisis thing look respectable.

To that end, I am wide open to suggestions for two things:

1. I need a perfect name for a "company" of one person that is dedicated to long form writing projects. Teri has come up with the best name so far "Bayberry Ink", but I'm rejecting it on the grounds that it's got more than a whiff of femininity about it. My company name doesn't necessarily have to be macho, but should be gender neutral at a minimum.

2. I need to give myself a title. President and CEO would work, but isn't very imaginative. I thought that "Chief Inkslinger" might work until I Googled the word "inkslinger" and discovered that lots of writers and tattoo artists are already all over that one.

So if you've got ideas for either the company name or the title for its sole employee, bring 'em.

French Sunsets

I don't know what made me think of this, but one thing that may surprise you is that it's going to get dark very late during the time we're in France, or at least later than you're used to.

We'll be there during the days of the year when there's the most daylight. I'm pretty sure we'll be flying home right around the time of the summer solstice--the longest day of the year (well, they're all 24 hours long, but you know what I mean).

Teri and I have been in France at the same time of year in past trips, and I remember how late it was when it finally got dark. This will come in handy as we have evening bonding time on deck.

Of course it will eventually get dark. Teri and I were in Russia during "white nights", several years back. White nights are what the Russians call the time around the summer solstice and they call it that because it never gets dark.

It was so weird going to the ballet in Saint Petersburg and emerging from the dark theater around 10 p.m.into a world of bright sunlight. It literally seemed like it was still mid-afternoon. Completely disorienting for those of us who are used to it actually getting dark at night.

We won't face that problem on this trip, but we will be far enough north that we'll be blessed with extra hours of daylight while we're in France which will give us more time for all kinds of things.

Lucky us!

Roll Tide!

I think most of you know that Teri has been advising (coaching) the University of Alabama Ad Team. This is a huge project that runs all year and culminates in district competition. It involves a lot of long days, late nights and there is always more than a little drama involved in a project that produces this much passion and dedication on the part of the students involved.

Well, I just got a call from Baton Rouge, the host site this year, and the University of Alabama Ad Team just won the district. Now they're on to the national finals in Washington, D.C. Teri will be getting home from the national finals just a few days before we head for Paris.

Go Teri! They just won the SEC for Bama before Nick Saban, the Alabama football head coach, and she did it for a lot less than his famous $4 million salary.

Picture found while looking for something else

This is the restaurant where Mike has us booked for our group dinner in Paris. Cool N'est pas?

It's been a while

Hi there Marjorites.

Can you believe we're leaving in less than two months?

I'm not sure if you missed me or you've noticed, but it's been a few weeks since I last posted on this blog.

I've been a busy boy and so have a bunch of the rest of you. March is always the most frantic and exhausting month in my business. Things will start slowing down for me to a more usual pace starting about now, so I promise I'll resume bombarding you with fresh posts.

I regret that I blew the opportunity to do my planned April 1 blog post announcing that the Marjorie 2 had a serious kitchen fire and was out of service for the summer, the travel agency wasn't offering us a refund and I was having to call off the trip. It's just as well I guess.

A little news.

Cathleen has had fairly major surgery but is back in fine form and ready to take France by storm.

Teri has been overwhelmed preparing her Ad Team and all the other projects she has taken on--they compete next week. Teri has been on physical therapy for her bum knee the last few weeks. For you "Biggest Loser" fans, she has nicknamed her physical therapist Jillian. It's going well--she's walking better than she has in years and she's lost a bunch of weight in the process. Significant weight loss seems to be a trend with the ladies in our group--not a trend I've shared, I'm afraid.

Mike became our personal symbol of the economy--he was laid off and then re-employed by the gigantic insurance company he works for--and now Mike, Jen and the kids will be moving to Richmond.

Steve and Mel have a new home, which they absolutely love--and their permanent Austrian houseguest has departed for good. Hey Steve, thanks for the book! I'm bringing it with me to read while we're on the trip. Seems appropriate.

Colleen has been jet setting--most recently to Los Angeles--and now she's preparing to be descended on by a bunch of rabble rousing Jazz Festers (including moi).

I don't have any Beau and Kathy news--what's up with you guys? Oh, Beau, I'll walk the streets of Paris with you any time! Also I hope you join me on a couple of bike rides along the canals of Burgundy.

Teri and some of the other ladies are planning a Biloxi shopping trip in May.

I'll be a kept man starting June 1 as I'm taking at least a year long break from toiling for any organization other than myself, my church or the Henley Family. I keep reminding Teri that I'm not going to be unemployed--I'm going to be self-employed--but I can see the doubt in her eyes. I'm sure we'll all have long discussions of this over dinner along the way.

Oh, who is up for a second CD of French songs? I've got one ready to burn, but if y'all didn't groove to the last one I won't bother, so you have to beg me to do it. I will tell you that you haven't lived until you've heard "These Boots Are Made For Walking" and "Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Bikini" sung in French.

That's the news from Lake Woebegone.

Special requests

It's time to settle the final bill with the travel agency, and somewhere in that process I was sent a copy of the dossier the agency has compiled on each of us so that the crew can prepare for us in advance of our arrival.

Most of this information came from the booking forms you all sent in (thank you!), and a big chunk of that form was dedicated to special requests, dietary needs and interests you have.

What struck me as interesting is that, other than me, only one of you had any special requests at all, and that request was sooo modest--that the boat be stocked with plenty of Cokes and Sprites. I'm sure this would have been taken care of anyway, and I suspect the real request should have been that the boat be stocked with plenty of ice. Cokes can be had pretty easily in France, but that's not always true with ice that we take for granted.

Don't worry, I'm sure there will be glaciers full of ice on the barge--they know they're catering to a boatload of Americans and won't want to disappoint us.

But here's the deal: don't you realize that in filling out this booking form you all had a once in a lifetime opportunity to become divas and instead chose to continue to behave like the happy, well-balanced and easygoing people I know?

What a waste! Where's that spirit of entitlement? Where is that whole Ugly American vibe?

Just think of the things you could have insisted on in the special requests section. To help you, I'll give you some ideas of things you could have asked for, but didn't:

1. That the crew addresses you as Your Eminence at all times. If tney insist on addressing you by name, they should call you Lord Cromwell.

2. Your bed should be repositioned so that its head points to magnetic north each day when the bed is made. This is both a medical request and insisted upon by your feng shui master for your spiritual well being.

3. The barge crew needs to play only Lithuanian folk music over its stereo system, and if they try to substitute any Latvian folk songs, there will be hell to pay.

4. There must be a crew member designated as the official taster of the group to prevent intentional poisoning of the guests.

5. All white lights on the boat must be removed and substituted with light blue lights because they make for the best looking skintones at night.

6. And continuing with the blue theme, Blue Jello must be one of the dessert offerings each night.

7. Two words: toga night.

I could go on and on, but you get the idea. Hey, the next time you get a chance to unleash your inner diva, I hope you take advantage of it.